There's always a preface.

Good afternoon blogging world! Before I start on my own personal preface, let me explain my previous statement "remove this weight resolution off my list for good." What I'm referring to is the extremely unhealthy, exhausted, depressed feeling when one is overweight. Hear me LOUD and clear, I will battle food and weight for the rest of my life; however, I refuse to let it rule my life. Becoming aware and staying aware is a major issue for me. It is imperative when becoming a healthier human.

Now....this is the start of me getting to where I am now...

So, I was not born a chunky baby, nor was I a chunky toddler. I came into this world with long legs and long arms and was the mini me of my father in stature. My dad was/is 6'4", so I came by it honestly. Not until junior high, when kids go from baby faced precious angels to pimpled walking attitudes, that I started gaining "mature" weight. I was not even remotely popular or liked being the center of attention and honestly, started feeling invisible and having that pointless feeling of being there (before you wonder, no, suicide NEVER entered my mind).
High school was pretty much no different, I had my core group of friends (like maybe 4-5), but never really felt like I belonged anywhere. So, to cover up those feelings, I ate. Food became my comfort, my happy place, my security blanket. It wasn't a massive weight gain because I played tennis and was somewhat active. But when college hit me, boy did it hit me!! Finding one's independent freedom is liberating...okay, and somewhat scary too. Not having a loving, encouraging (and yes, sometimes annoying) support system there helping me figure what was good for me was the biggest life changer for me. I failed over and over and over. Became depressed. Quit going to class. And eating became my life goal because it simply made me feel better. Funny looking back now, it really didn't make me feel better, it made me sick and miserable and also masked all the emotions that I was not tapping in to. To make an epic novel a short story, I moved home from college due to my poor decision making and started commuting to a semi-local community college. Things at that point had not changed yet, but a I finished college with a cosmetology skill and starting the working world. I don't know about you all, but having transitions in my young life were extremely difficult for me and I, again, started packing on the pounds. I finally moved to the city where my community college was and started working in a salon full time. At this point, I needed a primary care physician, so I got an appointment with my dad's doctor. I went, had blood work done and was told to come back that afternoon to discuss the numbers of the work. I sat in that doctors office, intimated more than you know, alone and nervous. The next thing I remember is feeling like scum, a failure, and mainly pissed off. That doctor told me I was OBESE. And if I didn't do anything about it, I would need gastric bypass and ultimately die. What? Come again? I was floored! I had NEVER in my life been told anything like that...even though it was true. That was January of 2009. It was not until September of the same year that my life changed forever.
I was driving down the road (and I can still tell you the exact place I was when I called my mom) and a thought popped in my head to try this new diet and wellness program in town. I firmly believe it was the Holy Spirit telling me this because I can't explain it otherwise. I had heard of other people doing it and had been pretty successful. So I called my retired nurse of a mother and she approved through her own research that is was safe and under a doctor's care. So, September 19, 2009 I started my journey. From that day until December 25th, I did not cheat one time and I lost a whopping 58 lbs. I felt amazing! If only I knew what the future would hold.
From beginning to end on that program, I lost 100 lbs. and then.....the real world was waiting. Waiting on me to fail, as a matter of fact. From that day of leaving the program to today, I have been struggling, scratching and clawing, succeeding and failing at gaining a healthy lifestyle.
I hope and pray that I can be an example to someone, maybe one, who thinks it's not worth it. LISTEN TO ME: YOU ARE WORTH IT!! Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we may have life and have it abundantly. He WANTS you to succeed, he WANTS you to love yourself, he WANTS you to share your journey and struggles with friends and family and possibly even strangers.

Here's the biggest thing I've learned: I CAN NOT do it by myself. My will power is not strong enough and neither is yours. Help a brother or sister out!! Don't be selfish or self righteous. What does that gain in life? Because the ultimate prize is to hear, "well done, my good and faithful servant." I am eternally grateful for the struggles that I have had in life because I wouldn't be the person I am right now. God has a great and mighty plan for EVERYONE, you just have to ask and obey.

I'm planning to give one tip for you and me every post.
Todays is easy: Say yes to the process. Say yes to failing, but also say yes to getting back on the horse day after day, month after month, year after year. You will not be disappointed with the blessings that come.